


Thinking Out Loud

by colorfulCheshire



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, dress!Kankri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 07:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3642351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colorfulCheshire/pseuds/colorfulCheshire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Oh baby, we found love right where we are.]</p>
<p>Cronus never expected Kankri to agree to taking dance lessons with him, especially when those dance lessons mean that the two of them will be dancing alongside his parents at their big anniversary celebration.  He's glad he did, though.</p>
<p>---<br/>A birthday present for my dearest moirail.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thinking Out Loud

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Scripturience](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scripturience/gifts).



“You’re supposed to be _leading_ him, Cronus.  You’re two steps behind.”

You don’t respond to your brother’s irritated remarks, instead focusing on the music and on Kankri’s feet as you try to keep up with the new steps that you were just taught, trying to catch up to where you need to be even as Kankri slows, uncertainty spreading across his features as he loses his place as well, faltering mid-step as your foot falls where his was about to and he ends up stepping on your toes.  He recoils as if he had stepped on a hot coal, losing his balance and nearly falling backwards if you didn’t already have your arm at his waist to catch his weight.

“I’m so sorry, Cronus,” he says quietly as Eridan cuts off the music and you help him regain his balance.

“It’s alright, babe, it’s only the first day.”  You place a quick kiss on his forehead and offer a reassuring smile, a loving gesture that is interrupted as Eridan starts up again.

“Honestly, Cronus, you were the one who taught _me_ this one.  Mother would give you an earful if she knew how much you’ve forgotten.”  His arms are crossed in front of his chest and his lips are formed into that pouty scowl that mimics your father’s almost exactly.

“Since when did you go from my brother to my mother, Eri?”  You resist the urge to laugh as his eyes widen in a sudden burst of anger and you know you’ve pushed the right button.

“Cronus,” Kankri warns with a careful look, your arms still around his waist and holding him in front of you.  “Now is not the time.”  You sigh, not wanting to stress Kankri any more than your first little dance lesson has done so far, and you loosen your grip to return to your starting positions.

“You’re doing just fine Kankri,” Eridan offers, also dropping your little feud in favor of getting work done, “but if Cronus falls behind, follow his lead anyways.  It’s better to be behind than to trip over his clumsy feet.”  Okay, maybe he didn’t drop it entirely.  Still, you have a rather tired Kankri trying to learn these steps in front of you, so you’ll have to stay civil on your end until another time.

“Here, I’ll show you the steps again and we can go over the most recent section before trying another run through.  Sollux?” 

The beanpole of a teen looks up over his 3DS from his spot on the floor, glancing for a moment between Eridan and you and Kankri before sighing to himself and closing his game system to stand and make his way over to Eridan.  Even though Sollux is nearly half-a-foot taller than Eridan, your brother takes place as the lead, his right hand resting on the small of his boyfriend’s back as Sollux takes his other hand.

Your arm is still around Kankri’s waist, but he’s pulled away to watch your brother and Sollux as they demonstrate the steps again, Eridan counting aloud.  You actually pay attention this time instead of getting lost in thought about how much Eridan’s grown since you were teaching him this very same dance nearly a decade ago.  It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long.

\-----

“Is there any particular reason as to why you’ve suddenly decided to rearrange the living room?”  Kankri’s standing in the hallway, holding up what’s likely an empty mug of what used to be coffee, his other hand on his hip as watches you.  You’ve just shoved the couch all the way back and directly in his path and you can’t help but to look up a little bit guiltily for causing so much noise while he’s probably working.

“I, uh, figured I could make some space and practice for Saturday.”

“Won’t that be a little difficult without a partner?”  He tilts his head at the open space you’ve made in the middle of the living room, before looking back at you, noticing your silence. 

You avoid his gaze, because you were hoping to ask him after you had gotten everything set up and while he was taking a break from work for his eyes.  He’s been in the room for nearly two hours now so were expecting it soon, but not this soon.

“I, uh, was hoping you wouldn’t be opposed to taking a break and practicing with me maybe?  I still need to get that one part down.”  Eridan told you that he’d meet you before the other guests arrived to whip you into shape if necessary and even though Kankri has the steps down, you’d rather not wear him out any more than needed before the big event.

You remember asking him to take dance lessons with you nearly a month ago and the look of sudden confusion that crossed his face as he eyed you over the frames of his reading glasses, waiting for an explanation for the odd request.  Unsure of how to explain yourself, you had merely handed over a lavender envelope that had both of your names signed neatly on the front and a torn seal stamped with a cursive ‘A’ on the back.  On the inside was a formal invitation addressed to the two of you, inviting you to your parents’ twenty-fifth anniversary celebration.

Kankri hadn’t realized he was frowning as he read through the invitation, so when he read aloud that you’re required to bring a date, you had tried to reassure him that you could always ask Roxy if he really didn’t want to go.  You could hardly stand formal events yourself and had always strived to escape them where possible, so you would never force Kankri, who was uncomfortable in large groups of strangers in general, to come along just because you have to.  Your parents would be expecting your boyfriend of three years as your date, but bringing a friend would be better than showing up with no date at all.

You hadn’t known what you were expecting, but you were surprised when Kankri reluctantly turned down your alternative and agreed to be your date for the event.  “It’s your parents’ big celebration,” he had said when you asked if he was sure.  “It’s important.”

Now, as you stand next to the moved couch, rubbing the back of your neck sheepishly as you wait for his response, you watch as he sifts through his options in his head, arms now crossed in front of him.

“Hmm, that is only a few days away, isn’t it?  I still have another section’s tests to grade, but,” he sets his empty mug down on the side table you’ve pushed back against the wall, “I don’t mind helping you out for a little bit.”  He’s smiling gently as he steps around the arm of the couch and makes his way to you, placing his hand lightly in your offered palm.

“You’re the best, babe.” 

You’re grinning despite his dismissive hum as you lean over to grab the stereo’s remote and start the music before standing up straight again and sliding your other arm around his waist.  You wait an extra count to start and he lets you, his weight following your lead as you step forward.  He’s surprisingly good at this, especially for someone who’s never taken a single dance lesson, a fact that Eridan often likes to harp upon to jab at you, since you were expected to learn dance up until you joined the swim team in high school.

“I hate this part,” he informs you after you dip him low, your fingers splayed out against his side as you support his weight with your arm.  You grin at him as you pull him back up and he twirls out to your side, stretching both of your arms before you tug him back the same way until he’s pressed against your chest again.

“I know,” you answer, leaning in to leave a quick kiss against his lips in condolence.  “You only have to do it once, though.”

“Maybe once during the party,” he says as he steps under your arm and back around, “but I’ve had to practice it far more than I would have liked already.”

“Sorry, doll.” 

He’s the one to kiss you this time, his arms sliding around your neck as the music and your steps slow into a gentle sway.  You return the kiss gently as you lead the dance with practiced steps, your arms sitting comfortably around his waist.  It’s not at all what the two of you are supposed to be doing, but you’re substituting an easy enough part that neither of you mind.  You’ll do it the right way on Saturday.

“They’ve been together for a long time,” he remarks gently after he’s broken the kiss and opted to rest his head against your shoulder.

“Ever since my mom was pregnant with me, yeah, not that anyone else knew at the time.  But I know they’ve been looking forward to this for the past two years.”

“I wonder what it’s like, being with someone for so long.”

There are words on your tongue, a sentence that you should have no problem saying with your normal bravado and inclination for romance, but for some reason, as you sway with him to the music, you can’t make the words come out.  A pressure like a tight ribbon wraps around your heart, anchoring down what you want to say and leaving you only with a curious hum as you move into the next set of steps with him, feeling a strange sort of disconnect with yourself as you do.  You should be able to say it so easily.

_‘We could find out together.’_

\-----

Kankri Vantas is the most beautiful person you think you’ve ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on, and while this is a fact that you’re aware of each and every day, you always find yourself stunned silent on the uncommon occasion in which he dresses up (usually courtesy of Porrim) with all of his best features accentuated with the right clothes.

You were in your old bedroom before the big event, practicing with Eridan as your dance partner to show him that you’ve gotten the steps down while you waited for Kankri.  Your mother had requested to speak with him privately while Eridan worked with you on your dancing, and while you obviously trusted your mother, you were worried for the sake of Kankri’s comfort by the second run through of the dance.  You were just about to attempt to slip away and find him when the door to your bedroom opened and your mother walked in with a bright smile on her face as Kankri nervously followed her inside, donning a knee-length candy-red dress that he had definitely not been wearing when the two of you arrived.

It’s an adorable dress, really, with a neckline that dips like a heart beneath his collarbone, the straps holding up the top and tied into a cute bow behind his neck.  A black ribbon chinches the dress in around his small waist and is tied into another bow, the excess ribbon fluttering down over the bright red skirt that follows curve of his hip before flowing outward and stopping at his knees.  It reminds you of something you would see for Valentine’s Day, but there’s no doubt that it perfectly suits your nervous lover.

His dark hair has been re-fixed as well, tamed far better by your mother than he could manage alone, and a flush of red across his cheeks makes you wonder if she also tried make up on him.  However, a similar but fainter flush across his chest tells you that it’s likely natural and not any sort of added color.  Either way, Kankri is absolutely stunning.  You tell him so as he makes his way over to you, stepping easily enough in short red heels as your mother ushers him forward.

“D-don’t you have a dance you need to practice?” he asks with darkening cheeks, changing the topic as he avoids your eyes.

“I don’t know, babe.  You’ve got me weak in the knees now.”  You grin as he rolls his eyes, Eridan grumbling in the background as your mother giggles.  You are her son, after all. 

\-----

“B-be careful with the dip please?” Kankri whispers against your collar as you lead him in time with the music and the other guests.  “I’m not used to these shoes.” 

“Of course, love,” you assure him as the two of you move through the next count. 

A faint expression of uneasiness spreads across his features as his least liked section approaches, and with good reason.  The two of you hadn’t faltered during practice, but you could feel the shakiness in his legs during the more difficult steps, his feet unused to the uneven distribution of weight despite the short height of the heels.  He had gasped aloud when you dipped him the last time, probably worried that he would lose his balance and make the both of you fall.

“I’ve got you,” you remind him as you prepare to dip him now, gripping his hand firmly as you slide your other arm more firmly around his waist than usual.  This seems to reassure him, as he makes no noise as you step forward and dip him low, waiting a beat before pulling him back up to his feet and continuing the dance as normal.

“Thank you,” he sighs once he’s back against your chest and the music begins to slow. 

You can faintly feel his pulse slowing in his palm against yours, which makes you incredibly happy as you lead him in the slower sway of the dance.  You were worried that he would be on high alert throughout the entire evening, resulting in an exhausted, weary boyfriend before the night’s end.  He seems okay for now, which is more than you could have hoped for.  You’re glad that he seems alright with everything so far and you wonder if it has anything to do with how your mother’s been keeping the two of you company with casual conversation while your father entertained the non-family guests.  She seems to have a soft spot for him, which is good news for you.

“I can’t believe she let him dip her so low,” he’s speaking quietly at your collar, bright eyes watching your parents off to the side of you, “and on one leg at that!”  He sounds a little amazed as he watches the two of them, and you’re more than a little surprised that he didn’t have his eyes squeezed tightly shut when you dipped him earlier.

“They’ve been doing this for years,” you remind him, following his eyes over to where your parents are dancing in a gentle sway, your mother’s arms around your father’s neck like you and Kankri had been a few nights before.  They can get away with breaking form, though; it’s their anniversary. 

“They look so happy.” 

He’s smiling softly to himself and the only words that come to your mind are about how beautiful he is, so you only hum in agreement as you watch the way his face softens with his smile.  He seems to notice your staring and turns his attention back to you, meeting your eyes for a brief second before he averts his gaze away.

“W-what’s with that look?”  A faint blush is creeping onto his cheeks again and you’d pull him into a deep kiss right here and now if he wouldn’t kill you for such a display in front of so many people.

“We should get married,” you respond without thinking, shocking yourself a little with how you suddenly voiced this too him.

He seems shocked as well, stepping on your toes as he falters in step before righting himself and falling back into your lead.  His cheeks are flushed a more noticeable red now as he meets your eyes and stumbles over his words for a moment before remembering that he’s surrounded by people and lowering his voice down to a demanding whisper.

“C-Cronus Ampora, w-was that a proposal?”  You can’t tell if he’s simply shocked or if there’s irritation in his voice as well, which makes you a little hesitant to answer as your nerves decide to attack you again.

“A suggestion, you know, thinking out loud,” you clarify, your own face heating up as you try to pick your words carefully.  “I-I don’t have a ring to propose vw-with, s-so I just wanted to know what you thought, s-since I know you don’t really like surprises.”

This answer seems to satisfy him, the muscles in his lower back relaxing against your hand as he falls more smoothly back into step.  “I see,” he responds, back to a normal volume as his expression relaxes as well.  You’re not really sure how you feel about either of these reactions and part of you wants to just drop it before digging yourself into what could potentially be hot water, but you can’t let it go now.

“Soooo?” you ask, fishing for a response to the suggestion.  It wasn’t a proposal, but dammit, you don’t want to be ignored when talking about this.  If you _do_ propose in the future (you want to), you don’t want to be shot down.

“I thought that wasn’t a proposal?” he asks, hiding his face against your shoulder so you have no idea how you’re supposed to take that or how you’re supposed to respond.

You’re about to resign yourself to the fear of the unknown when he speaks again, his voice quiet against your neck as the song slows to a finish.

“I wouldn’t be opposed if it was, though.”

You feel his lips curve into a smile against your neck and you feel yourself falling in love with him all over again.


End file.
